<BGSOUND src="file.wav"> Couch Cushions - The best technique for couch cushions is jumping. Any manner of footwear will do, or to reduce risk of injuring the friendly little farts, no footwear at all! Car Seats - The best method for car seats is a Louisville Slugger, although rednecks prefer rifle barrels. Rugs - For those of you with children who may have farts in your rugs, beating a carpet with a flyswatter is the most efficient method. Many people consider vacuums the most efficient, but in reality this is the cruelest punishment for our ever-present friends, as they become trapped in this device for eternity. Beds - Use kids! The trampoline effect frees farts instantly! Elevators - Get off at the next possible floor. The disoriented fart will follow you out. Shower Curtains - Ever wonder what that unidentified odor is in the bathroom? That’s a fart trapped between double shower curtains! Fan those curtains & send a fart on its merry way. Comforters/Bedspreads - Rough sex on top of the covers is most recommended.
