Why treat a fart ethically, you ask? Absurd, you say? The average person does not realize the lifelong committed friendship their farts can give them. They're overlooked, often laughed at then forgotten. But think about it! They're always there. No matter how ugly, dumb, nerdy or goofy you are, they're always willing to hang around you. They're the ideal pet, they don't need food or water, they don't need walked, they have more personality than a goldfish...just wipe their cage once in a while and they're happy. And they're fully portable to show off to your friends! They can also be a deadly weapon that readily passes through ANY security checkpoint! They're always good for a laugh, and they're rarely shy. So you see, flatulence isn't just a waft in the wind. You've had endless arsenals of friends with you this entire time!
